Even the most positive person gets negative thoughts!

Yes, that’s true.

Olympian John Konrads won one gold and one bronze medal in the 1960 Rome Olympics. During the 400-meter freestyle, for which Konrads won the bronze medal, he said he lost focus by nurturing negative thoughts on how arch rival Murray was going to perform. Konrads confessed that though he had convinced himself he could win, these thoughts got in the way and blew his chances.

Actually, negative thoughts are commonplace and anyone can be a ‘victim’ to them. However, it’s not the presence of negative thoughts but the way we handle and react to them that either breaks or makes our confidence and self-esteem.

Think over this:


If you ALLOW negative thoughts to HARM you – THEY WILL!

If you ALLOW negative thoughts to HELP you – THEY WILL!

Before we get into this session it’s important to keep a few points in mind:

• It’s not only you that gets negative thoughts; everyone on this planet gets them.
• You are not making an attempt to uproot negative thoughts here. Just handling them more smartly.
• Negative thoughts, as such, do not harm you. It’s what you say to yourself after the thought has entered your head that harms you.
• You can change any thought you want by changing what it means to you.

With that taken into account, let’s kick off this session!

Analyzing your thoughts

Want to increase your confidence? You have to first find out what triggers off those negative thoughts and emotions you have about yourself.

It becomes easier to analyze and respond to them if you write them down.

FYI, it is not the trigger or the event that instigates the bad feelings. What make you feel despondent are the internal dialogues you say to yourself in response to the trigger.
These catalysts distort reality and put your feelings in turmoil.

That’s the kind of turmoil Lynette got into. Her husband Roger had been quite distracted over the past few days. Lynette tried talking to him on a couple of occasions but he wasn’t forthcoming. She heard him talking in hushed tones over the phone, and he also came home late more often than before. Lynette was perturbed beyond words. She spent hours talking to herself, wondering what Roger was up to.

She would have said:

• “He’s ignoring me.”
• “Maybe he’s having an affair with someone.”
• “He doesn’t find me attractive or interesting anymore.”

What would she have felt?

• Anger
• Resentment
• Grief
• Self-pity

Maybe she should have been more probing; or given more time to her husband. Did she know her husband well enough to arrive at these conclusions?